This was such a touchy subject for me way back in Nigeria in primary/secondary school – it took years for me to understand and believe that all of my features are in fact perfect.
My teacher used to make fun of my lips (about how big they are) in secondary school back in Nigeria – imagine a teacher bullying an 11year old! It got so bad that my mum had to remove me from the school and the whole thing made me conscious of myself and I hated my lips so much; no one could understand how much of an issue it was. My teacher/some people constantly making fun of me definitely didn’t make it easier for me.
HOW I STARTED EMBRACING MYSELF
It won’t happen overnight but if you allow yourself it will happen eventually. You need to accept yourself and not place the feeling of being accepted in the hands of others. Some people only feel self-assured when others compliment them; let me use myself as an example here, I’m really bad at giving compliments LOL I’m honestly trying to work on this, obviously if my friends ask for my opinion I’ll say something but I don’t randomly say “that dress looks good on you” or “that lipstick suit you” I’m getting better though haha! Me not giving a compliment doesn’t necessarily mean whatever they’re wearing isn’t nice. So imagine waiting for someone like me to compliment you every time. The more you focus on that feature you dislike, the more conscious you’ll become.
I accepted my features from a grateful point of view, there are people all over the world that doesn’t have some of their body features due to accidents or health issues. It got to a stage where I just had to toughen up and get over it. I couldn’t continue my life constantly conscious about my lips, for all I know no one probably cares except that foolish teacher in Nigeria – and people pay a lot of money injecting their lips to get it plump whereas I have it in abundance for freeee!
I had to change the way I see myself, I stop seeing myself as the girl with gigantic lips. If you allow your brain to process negative thoughts about a particular feature you’ll only see negative stuff that you dislike in the mirror. Our mind set is really important. Think positive (I always try to).
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
The ultimate goal is for you to be comfortable within yourself, be comfortable with your features. If you dislike a body feature that much that it’s affecting you mentally and you believe changing it will make you feel better, that’s absolutely fine but don’t change something because you think you’ll attract more men or women. Everyone won’t like the same thing and whoever is meant for you will like you regardless.
My lips or any other body part doesn’t define who I am as a person. To be honest I don’t see myself as having “huge lips” anymore, to me this is now “new normal”. Yes, I said it! It’s normal 😆
I got to realise that only me can fix the hatred I had for my lips.
You’re not alone
Trust me! A lot of people go through similar things, we’ve all experienced insecurities one way or the other, not necessarily about a physical feature but also in other aspects of our lives.
We can’t all be happy when it comes to our features and that’s life.
Don’t compare/Make changes
This will be your number one downfall in life, I mentioned this briefly in my previous post (Lets Talk About Career) Not just physical features but everything. Comparison sets you up for downfall!
Make changes where possible! If you dislike a feature so much and it’s possible to make changes with/without surgery (your choice) then please take the necessary steps to rectify the issue.
Just so you know – there is someone out there that’s paying so much money to get that same feature you dislike!
Love, Chocolates and all things sweet x